My husband thinks I’m a weirdo. “You never sleep. Every time I wake up in the middle of the night, you’re on your phone or computer.” I try explaining to him that I can’t sleep as soundly as him but I don’t think he gets it.
I want to sleep. I need to sleep. But there are so many reasons why I can’t. Number one being that I am too tightly wound from taking care of our two littles all day. It’s a lot of work. After putting them both to sleep around 8pm, I lay down only to have a million thoughts running through my mind about things that I need or want to get done the next day. So I browse the internet or watch Netflix in an attempt to wind down. By the time I feel relaxed enough, Savi wants to eat.
It’s around 11 and I’ve put her back to sleep. I go back to my bed and the boys have somehow managed to pull the sheets to the opposite side, leaving my side just bare mattress. I can’t sleep on a bare mattress, it bugs me! Or they take my pillow. So I turn to Netflix and try to get past that because there is no way I’m waking either of those grumps up to fix the bed. When I am just about to fall asleep, Savi wants to eat.
It’s around 3 and I am desperate for sleep. I sleep. 4:45 comes around and Kristian is up and getting ready for work. I think to myself, “Please God let this be the day Savannah sleeps through this.” I don’t think he can hear me. 5am and she is very upset and won’t be comforted by anything but the boob. For like, 45 mins I am her human pacifier. I attempt sleep.
6-630 comes around and my brother in law is awake getting ready for work. I’ve nicknamed him Clumsy Bear because he literally is the biggest, clumsiest guy I have ever known. We go through 3 minutes of terror when he leaves for work..heavy steps, stuff dropping or getting knocked over. It’s a regular event in our house. The big finale is a door slam in which Savannah gets SUPER pissed off. She wakes up Julian. I am desperately trying to get them both back to sleep so I can get a little more. Sometimes it works and we sleep for another hour or so. Sometimes it doesn’t. 8pm comes around and the cycle starts all over again. I guess all of this makes me a weirdo.
One day I’ll get the sleep I need… maybe when my kids leave for college.