The best advice I have ever received as a parent was from my mom, when I was pregnant with my first born. “Always remember that you are the mother, no one else. Stand your ground.” What she really meant was, “You better not take anyone’s shit.” Thank God she shared that little golden nugget of wisdom with me because the most frustrating thing about being a parent has nothing to do with the kids themselves. It is other people all up in your business, telling you what to do.
- You need to get rid of that pacifier. I don’t need to do anything actually.
- Why don’t you give her a bottle? It would be so much easier. Easier for who? It’s actually easier for me to just pop out a boob and feed her immediately.
- You need to pass her off so other people can hold her. Just let her cry, she’ll be fine. I don’t mind sharing, I really don’t. But I did not have my kids for the convenience of other people. And I won’t watch either of my kids scream and cry for me, that’s just mean.
- They are too dependent on you. Um…Isn’t that the point of me being their mother?
- Why are you doing this instead of that? I never did that. This one’s my favorite because it’s the passive aggressive way of saying “You’re doing this motherhood thing wrong.” As if there is only one way to do it.
- Can he have/do this? Why not? Oh come on, it’s not going to hurt anything. Whatever I say, goes. Don’t try to convince me to change my mind. I don’t have to explain myself to you. You just have to respect it.
And the list goes on, so I am passing down my mom’s advice to all of you. Stick by the decisions you make. Only you know what is best and what works for your family. You may bruise some egos along the way but trust me, more damage will be done if you don’t stick up for yourself as a parent. In the words of one of my favorite people, “No one messes with the mama bear.”