Alright moms. We need to talk. The moment we learn we are going to become parents, our whole world changes. There is wonder, love and excitement…but there is a whole road of trials and tribulations ahead. I’m not just talking about struggles with the kids and parenting…as if that isn’t enough. I’m talking about all the emotional, mental battles that go on inside of ourselves. And no matter how well you may think you have it under control, it shows and our kids pick up on it. Here are 5 things you need to stop doing right now to be a better mom.
*This is a post in my series “Be A Happier Mom In 31 Days.“*
Stop beating yourself up
Negative self talk is every mom’s downfall. We ALL have done it. It’s okay to give yourself a little criticism from time to time but the harsher it gets, the unhealthier it gets. Would you tell any of your friends the things you say to yourself? Probably not. Every time you catch yourself saying something negative, combat it with a positive affirmation. Write them down and stick them somewhere you can read them often, like on your bathroom mirror.
Stop comparing yourself.
Oh, social media. It’s a beautiful thing, connecting moms from all over. I’ve met some amazing women through it. But it’s much more of a highlight reel, if anything. Stop comparing yourself to your fave instagram mom, asking why you can’t be or have this or that. She has many of the same struggles you do, you just can’t see them.
Stop trying to be perfect.
There will always be someone judging you for every move you make (or don’t make) as a mom. You literally can’t win, so why try to play? Perfection doesn’t exist, and neither does the perfect mom. Being a better mom doesn’t mean being perfect. Besides, your kids don’t want a perfect mom. They want a happy one.
Stop isolating yourself.
Even though you spend most of your time with a little best friend attached to you now, motherhood can be a lonely, lonely place. The whole “it takes a village” phrase includes making sure mom is good, too. Reach out whenever you feel that motherhood is consuming you. If you need to say, “Hey, I’m not doing so well”, say it. Be honest and transparent and let your people raise you up out of parenting quicksand.
Stop neglecting yourself.
Self care is an important and essential part of motherhood. I know after I get a little time to relax or do something I love, I am much less cranky and more patient with my kids. It’s not just all about alone time either. Not doing basic things like eating right, drinking enough water or taking regular showers, creates a huge negative impact on your life and parenting. Treat self care as a priority, fit it into your schedule and watch how your daily life shifts.
These are things we don’t talk about much (or at all) but can make you a better mom than you already are. Sometimes you can’t see the effect doing these things has on you and your life until it’s too late. I am all about self improvement and I believe moms deserve to be happy and feel worthy. So let’s stop being so damaging to ourselves. Who’s with me?